I’m sitting outside of the circle
Lights dimmed out,all around
Yet my mind feels caged in the middle
Hallucinating a thousand candles melting on the ground..
I can think any evil into existence
Even when i switch my mind off
It doesn’t create a difference
I’m still captivated by loss and chaos
I don’t want to stand in the middle
Where everyone can see that they make my body shake
And my skin crawl and tingle
I need to flee this crowd for my own sake
I really wonder..
Has everyone ever felt this little?
Get me out of here,
Im drowning in my own fear.
Maybe i’ll just claim that I need a smoke-break
Will they find out i’m such a fake
When i flirt with the nicotine
And it slips through my fingers?
Will they finally unearth
that my company is a mythical curse
that in this storybook I’m no heroine, just a sinner.
A slave to grains of ash and cinder
A gambler that never leaves the table a winner
A sybil whose all of her seasons are winter.
They won’t understand
When the red curtains open up again
And the starting signals are sent
I’ll just glue myself to this chair
Smile, engage and pretend
Maybe even let him play with my hair.
These shadows around me can’t be real
Their souls are made of ancient steel
They’re mere statues of marble
And marble can’t feel.
I’m nineteen but i decay when I’m around you
I’m nineteen but I uncover your truth
Im nineteen but my sunshine is already turning blue
Just break all of these chains
They are tightening around my veins
And i want to breathe
Shatter this cruel circle
So I can feel some relief.
You give me seconds of joy
And lifetime of grief.
Break my binding spell
I can finally speak up and tell
That i don’t wanna be you