The Middle.

I’m sitting outside of the circle

Lights dimmed out,all around

Yet my mind feels caged in the middle

Hallucinating a thousand candles melting on the ground..

I can think any evil into existence

Even when i switch my mind off

It doesn’t create a difference

I’m still captivated by loss and chaos

I don’t want to stand in the middle

Where everyone can see that they make my body shake

And my skin crawl and tingle

I need to flee this crowd for my own sake

I really wonder..

Has everyone ever felt this little?

Get me out of here,

Im drowning in my own fear.

Maybe i’ll just claim that I need a smoke-break

Will they find out i’m such a fake

When i flirt with the nicotine

And it slips through my fingers?

Will they finally unearth

that my company is a mythical curse

that in this storybook I’m no heroine, just a sinner.

A slave to grains of ash and cinder

A gambler that never leaves the table a winner

A sybil whose all of her seasons are winter.

They won’t understand

When the red curtains open up again

And the starting signals are sent

I’ll just glue myself to this chair

Smile, engage and pretend

Maybe even let him play with my hair.

These shadows around me can’t be real

Their souls are made of ancient steel

They’re mere statues of marble

And marble can’t feel.

I’m nineteen but i decay when I’m around you

I’m nineteen but I uncover your truth

Im nineteen but my sunshine is already turning blue

Just break all of these chains

They are tightening around my veins

And i want to breathe

Shatter this cruel circle

So I can feel some relief.

You give me seconds of joy

And lifetime of grief.

Break my binding spell

I can finally speak up and tell

That i don’t wanna be you

Not anymore.

اليوم نهارك

فيق، اهبط للشارع،

هز راسك و على حقك دافع

اليوم تقيد في التاريخ نهارك

صيح و احكي بالك تطفى نارك

ماعاش فما علاش تخاف و تتخبى ورا حيوط دارك

قلهم على الكيسان الي من الف قطرة فاضت

ليوم نهارك،

اما بقية العام ينساو انتصارك

انت الي كل يوم تعمل روحك ماريتش العيون

الي ما تنوي كان عالخايب و المشوم

انت الي تقوم عالفجاري و تسهر الليالي

بش الحلم اللي فيك تصون

انت اللي رغم الداء و الأعداءِ

الشعلة اللي في قلبك مش بش تموت

فيق، حل عينيك قبل ما يهزك الريح

حل عقدة لسانك مادامك تنجم تصيح

خمم في مماتك و امك و القلوب لي ماتت

خاتر ماسمعها حد و الفرص تعداتها و فاتت

اليوم نهارك،

احكيلهم على نسا بلادك الخضرا

الضعيفة و البيضا و السمينة و السمرا

احكيلهم علي وصلت للسما و قريب تمس القمرا

قلهم لا هو زين و لاهو دعا والدين

فهمهم لي تعب و سهر و خدمة سنين

ولي بنات اليوم لا يخونهم ذراعهم لا يقولوا مسحورين

عاودلهم حكاية الظهر المقوس و الخدود الحمرا

عاليدين ليتبات تغزل فالصوف على ضو شمعا

اليوم نهارك،

الحبال لي كانت مكتفتك تبخرت وطارت

انت لي كان تحب تهد جبال

و تبني قصورات من غبار و رمال

راهي الحرية ماعادش فال

انت اللي ربيت اجيال ورا اجيال

و داويت المرض و عالجت الف وباء

تذكر لي قبل ما تكون مرا، راك انسان

ينجم يصنع و يقدم و يكون فنان

انت عبد قبل ما تكون اخت وام ولا مرت فلان

اغزر قدامك راهو واد الصمت نشف

و مالصبر تعبي مائة قفة من سعف

مخك هو سلاحك

و بدنك ملكك،متاعك

مستقبلك بين يديك، و يديك وحدك

امشي،كمل ماعادش تتلفت تحتك.

ليوم نهارك

تكلم

صيح

اخرج

عيط

و لا حتى رغزط

لين يولي كل يوم نهارك

Don’t celebrate women.

They celebrate us on the thirteenth,

But rip us to shreds with their daggers and teeth

As soon as the clock ticks and announces the fourteenth

We feel accomplished, maybe even proud

we invade the streets, allowing ourselves to be bold and loud

Thinking that our case won’t be denied if the media sees how strongly we shout

In the midst of the chaos

At the core of the disappearing loss

I am a woman, she says

I am a human being, she yells

Today, she decided to tower over her fears

To bury her doubts and wipe away her tears

with the edges of her clandestine cape

A hero that’s been cowering away from her fate

I won’t be silenced for your safety

I wont cage myself at home as soon as midnight ticks

Scared that you might abuse or rape me

I am not a toy that you can manipulate and fix.

I won’t shiver everytime a shadow comes near my figure

I won’t wish I had a gun so that I can pull the trigger

I won’t stand still as over my head you linger

And your breath poisons my horizon with the smell of your cheap liquor

I am your equal but I despise you

Because you crave taming me

You fancy seeing me bound to you

So you legalize my prison with your falsified rules

Except for when you want me on my knees

Then you become weak and your mouth drools

Only then would you accept to release me

So that I can wear the constricting costume of your fantasies

But as soon as past midnight commences

Your adoration shifts and suddenly ends

Now, for the pleasure you felt you shall shame me.

I am your equal but I’m sick and tired

Of the continuous battle and all the shots being fired

So that you might hear me,

So that you might understand my reasoning,

I am not denouncing your reign

Or running after you with my sword and raging flame

I do not seek the rubies and saphirs that decorate your crown

I do not want to rule your decaying town

All I ask,

No

Let me rephrase

All that I demand,

Is to build a new empire,

Where we can stand on the same step of the ladder.

Cause dearest mister,

You can’t dictate my destiny

During one of your closed meetings fueled by cuban cigars and top shelf liquor

You do not have to paint yourself as the enemy.

it’s women’s day,

Celebrating a human being for what’s between their legs,

Isn’t that so condescending?

I captain your ships and bless your sail

I fly your planes and put out your hell

I cure your children and cover up your fails

I design your three piece and tell your tales

I defend your case and help the weak and frail

I do not want a day of slogans with my face

I am disgusted by your chants and the momentary craze.

All i ask for is a lifetime of feeling safe

Not to have to walk so mean and tough

So that you won’t call me a whore when I am taking the train

So that your disrespectful fingertips won’t trace my thighs

Mapping out all the places where due to you my hopes have died

So that I don’t have to see the day when you invade me and ignore my cries

You can keep the thirteenth,

Dance around and sing til you have to cover your ears.

I’ll gladly take the rest of the year.